Tuesday, February 9, 2010

presenting...

"your two gorgeous embryos," says the doctor.

We love this doctor.


The transfer went very well - so well, that the embryologist asked us if we were prepared for twins. "How high a chance would that be, exactly?" I asked nervously. "About 25%," she said, leading me to believe that fertility specialists have a slightly different definition of "high possibility" than I do. The doctor casually mentioned that we should be prepared for "twins. Or triplets," she said, as if this did not freaking matter at all, as opposed to the fact that my heart nearly stopped for a moment - but, given that triplets is about a 1-2% chance, I've got other things to worry about. (Other good news, however: 1 additional was frozen today, and they're watching 3 more for possible freezing tomorrow. Back-up plans make me happy.)

Namely, that I am so completely twisted that my response to a transfer where everything went "beautifully," with embryos that are "gorgeous," is immediately to think, "Everything today went so well that surely I will screw it up or it will turn out badly in the end, because that is our luck when it comes to babies." REALLY? That's my response to a day that went as perfectly as it could? I immediately complain that it was too good?

Infertility: a level of mindf*ck you can never imagine until you get there.

On the way home, I was listening to an NPR story about a new video game based on Dante's Inferno (naturally, this time Dante fights his way through hell, presumably kicking demon ass all the way). "Huh," I thought. "Dante don't know squat about levels of hell until he's endured a two week wait following in-vitro fertilization. You want hell? Try that."

Now, all we can do is wait. Beta is February 19th. Thanks again for all your support; it makes all the difference in the world. There's another thing Dante didn't have: friends in blogland. I highly recommend it.

18 comments:

  1. Glad that the transfer went so well. Good luck enduring the 2WW!

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  2. Oh you are so right about the IFmindfuck and the infernal hell that is the 2ww.
    Such beautiful embryos! Congratulations on your wonderful transfer, and hoping for you--

    thank you for your sweet words of support.
    warmly,
    Kate

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  3. Those really ARE some beauties!! Great job and best of luck. Eh - triplets aren't that bad. I hope?!

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  4. Oh my goodness, it's going to be a long wait, I'm sorry. I hope you get through it well. I often wonder when things go well if I'm somehow jinxing something in the future, but I try to remember (usually unsuccessfully) that things are often what you make of them (not always, I know). Anyway, I'm thrilled that things went so well, and I will be thinking of you during the next two weeks.

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  5. Pretty! I'm so glad you are getting some totsicles! I'm going in Thursday for my Tx. Yippee! We can be tortured together!

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  6. Yeah, so happy that things went fantastic for you today & those embryos look so beautiful! I hear you on the mind f**k...I'm in the wait right now too, it is hell! Try to rest & relax for now & visualize those little embryos settling in for the next 9 months!

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  7. YAY! Those blasties look kind of like ours did...

    I am hoping with ALLLLL hope that very soon you have a big, beautiful BFP!

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  8. Ugggh, that wait is awful! I am wishing you luck! Oh, I just found your blog through some other mutual "blog friends:)." This is mine if you're interested:

    http://eidsonfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/

    I'll continue to follow yours and hope this wait goes by quickly and the end result is a wonderful BFP!!!!

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  9. Absolutely beautiful embies you've got there! Thinking of you in this most difficult 2ww!

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  10. Gorgeous, no doubt! I'll be damned if they don't both stick, they're just perfect! Are you ready for twins :)

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  11. Absolutely thrilled for you! Hang in during the 2WW!

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  12. Beautiful looking blasts! Congrats! Now take it easy, and let them settle in for the next 9 months!

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  13. Beautiful, beautiful. The 2ww is always a mindf&ck. :( I hope you get some GREAT news at the end of this one. Those really are two beautiful looking blasts.

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  14. SUPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So glad for you!

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  15. OH man the pics are fantastic. Sticky vibes.

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  16. Hooray! Sending sticky vibes your way.

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  17. They're beautiful. Good luck, hope you get good results in 9 days.

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  18. good luck! we're on the same schedule! those embies are gorgeous! my clinic doesn't show us photos of the embies, but they did say they were pretty. FX for you:)

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