Saturday, April 4, 2009



Today, for no reason, I feel overwhelmingly as if we were not successful.  There's no real reason for this: I think my feelings of doom started last night, when my breasts felt less sore than they had for the first few days.  It threw me back to all those other cycles when my breasts were sore for a few days after probable ovulation, and then got gradually less so until another failure became evident.  I realize that, in this instance, the sore breasts were a result of the PIO shots, so it may easily be that my body is adjusting to that, in the same way that my bum is less sore than the early days of those shots.  But still - any whiff of failure, and I can't stop myself from skidding down to the very bottom.

I'm tired.  I'm emotionally exhausted.  I had a frustrating day at work yesterday.  I don't want to wait another week.  I feel weepy.  And yes, most of the above actually could be pregnancy symptoms - but they could just as easily not be, and I'm worn out trying to parse the difference.

I'm going to go outside and weed a bit of garden, because the only thing I really want to do is go back to bed and cry, and that won't do anyone any good at all.  So, weeding it is.

Waiting sucks.


  1. I just want to say I totally understand! I too am in the same exact position today. Hang in there I am praying for you and that your time will pass quickly. Good luck staying positive and distracted.

  2. breast tenderness comes and goes.

    waiting sucks.

    we're still praying. less than a week, dear one. less than a week.

  3. Man, I'm feeling it too. Waiting does suck. My fingers are all crossed for you - toes, too. I hope this week flies by for you.

  4. I'm so sorry, the waiting is awful. And, mindf*ck is the perfect word for all of this. I hope the weeding and gardening made you feel a little bit better.

    I'm still VERY hopeful for you, if that helps.

  5. Ahhh, my buddy in torment! I'm having the same experience with the girls -- they were really sore for the first few days and now they are not. Also, was super-sleepy for the first few days and now I am not.

    I hope we both have some good news waiting for us at the end of this week!!