ready, set, go

I have a love-hate relationship with roller coasters. I love the parts where you're rocketing down a hill, tearing around a corner - I'm terrified in those moments, for sure, but I love them all the same. On the other hand, I hate the moment when you're crawling up that first big incline, realizing it's now too late to get off, listening to that "tick, tick, tick" sound which means the big drop is just about to happen, and you think, I'm an idiot for being on this thing, I'm insane, why on earth did I do this, get me the hell out of here. Love-hate.

We've been on the infertility roller coaster for awhile, but I think we're finally on the big incline. Monday we met with our doctor and agreed to an in-vitro schedule. Three and nearly-a-half years, a laparoscopy, two failed IUI's, and here we are: on the big hill, climbing up toward IVF. I am completely excited, and completely terrified, and still a little bewildered by the fact that we've finally gotten to this point.
I still think, three years later, that this is not actually happening to us.

My period should start in a week or so, and then...big hill. BIG hill.

Hang on.

That facial expression in the photo? Worth a thousand words. Exactly how I feel, my friend.