Oops.
Anyway, there are still a million things I do not know. Like how to create a nap schedule. (Schedule? HAHAHAHAHA) And how to parse the precise difference between "high-pitched-scream-indicating-need-to-fart" and "high-pitched-scream-indicating-need-to-sleep" (see paragraph above). And how to balance work and parenting.
But I have learned a few things.
Such as:
- You can do a lot of things while nursing, but knitting is not one of them.
- The day you figure out that your child is ticklish precisely under their right armpit is a very fun day.
- Antibiotics are good for healing ear infections but VERY VERY BAD if you are a cloth diaper person, so it is okay to switch to disposables until the Poop Express stops arriving nine times a day.
- The New Adventures of Old Christine is a really funny show (I learned this when I was home all freaking day during weeks of rain).
- You can make up a lot of ridiculous songs to "Mary Had A Little Lamb" in order to entertain your child on the changing table.
- When local-living grandparents go to Hawaii for three weeks you really, really miss them. A lot.
- Sometimes parent-baby group is just like junior high, but with babies. (Yet another reason not to get pregnant in junior high.) In other words, sometimes the Mean Girls turn into Mean Mommies.
- If you are going to pump or nurse in your office, it is a really good idea to learn how to lock your door.
- It is surprising how many people will look at a baby wearing pink overalls with a cupcake on the front pocket and say, "how old is your little boy?"
What have you learned?
Hmmm. I think my post would read something along the lines of "All the things I haven't learned yet", like how to get Wes to sleep earlier than 10:00 p.m. and STAY asleep for more than 25 minutes. You are one smart mama. If you work out that whole nap schedule thing please share!
ReplyDeleteI adore this post!!! I laughed so hard at knitting while bf'ing. And I keep feeding her in bathroom stalls when I don't feel like wrestling her under the hooter hider and I recommend locking those doors too. Strangers get really freaked out!!!
ReplyDeleteYou've learned a lot, I'd say.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was pumping and had an office, my door didn't have a lock (!). Also, words of wisdom from my experience: don't wear a dress. Skirt and shirts for the foreseeable future.
And I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets asked about my little boy. Just because she doesn't have a bow on her head doesn't mean she's a boy, people!
Nap schedule? I think it just evolved without too much work on our part. Like one day I noticed--hey, you took a nap at this time yesterday. And the day before!
Hah! I can relate to so many of your lessons. I had a very well-meaning friend who took me yarn shopping shortly after Zoe was born. I picked out some beautiful yarns and a couple of great patterns, they are still just yarn, 4 years later.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I learned that I need to put a sign on my door when pumping at work. I locked my door while pumping, but the custodian thought I was gone and that it would be a perfect time to clean my office.
Oh, and we have the same problem with people assuming Hazel is a boy. I don't get it. What's worse are the people who seem offended when they get it wrong. I don't care if you think she's a boy. She sure doesn't care. So why are you upset?
babies go to sleep before 10pm? Hmm, perhaps you could offer up some pointers.
ReplyDeleteI have recently learned you should make sure your shirt is pulled down before you answer the door. and a baby sleeping on your lap will immediately start screaming if you decide to make a phone call.