Anyway, there are still a million things I do not know. Like how to create a nap schedule. (Schedule? HAHAHAHAHA) And how to parse the precise difference between "high-pitched-scream-indicating-need-to-fart" and "high-pitched-scream-indicating-need-to-sleep" (see paragraph above). And how to balance work and parenting.
But I have learned a few things.
- You can do a lot of things while nursing, but knitting is not one of them.
- The day you figure out that your child is ticklish precisely under their right armpit is a very fun day.
- Antibiotics are good for healing ear infections but VERY VERY BAD if you are a cloth diaper person, so it is okay to switch to disposables until the Poop Express stops arriving nine times a day.
- The New Adventures of Old Christine is a really funny show (I learned this when I was home all freaking day during weeks of rain).
- You can make up a lot of ridiculous songs to "Mary Had A Little Lamb" in order to entertain your child on the changing table.
- When local-living grandparents go to Hawaii for three weeks you really, really miss them. A lot.
- Sometimes parent-baby group is just like junior high, but with babies. (Yet another reason not to get pregnant in junior high.) In other words, sometimes the Mean Girls turn into Mean Mommies.
- If you are going to pump or nurse in your office, it is a really good idea to learn how to lock your door.
- It is surprising how many people will look at a baby wearing pink overalls with a cupcake on the front pocket and say, "how old is your little boy?"
What have you learned?