Friday, July 9, 2010

I am not making this up.

Scene from the grocery store last week:

Grocery Bagger (lady probably in mid-60's): When are you due?

Me: October.

GB: You have a long ways to go!

Me: (Trying to discern whether this is a dig at the size of my belly) I guess so.

GB: What are you having? A boy or a girl?

Me: Well, we're not going to find out. We want to be surprised.

GB: WHAT? Why aren't you going to find out? Nobody's going to throw you a baby shower if you don't know because they won't know what to get you!

Me: (flustered) Um, I guess they'll have to stick with green and yellow. (Faint smile, look away in pathetic attempt to change the subject.)

GB: Turn around.

Me: What?

GB: Turn. Around.

Me: (completely flustered) O....kay. (Turns around.)

GB: I can't tell you're pregnant from the back. So you're having a boy.

Grocery checker: No, she's having a girl.

Me: (silent. Wishing had bought less stuff.)

Bagger: No, boy. I can't tell from the back. So, boy.

Checker: No, her neck isn't dark. Your neck gets dark if you're having a boy, so she's having a girl.

Me: (committing faces of checker and bagger to memory so as to avoid this particular line in future) Well, I guess we'll find out in October.

Checker: Would you like help out to your car?

Me: NO. No thank you. No. Thanks.

Bagger: Have a nice day!

Me: Thank you.

Coincidentally, we are rapidly running out of food at our house and I am loathe to go to the grocery store for replacements. I wonder why.

12 comments:

  1. Hey, at least they didn't begin groping your belly to assess how you are carrying the baby. Ugh! There must be another grocery you can go to, it is worth driving a little farther for a quiet check-out line.

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  2. Totally bizarre

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  3. Ha, ha...this was hilarious! Thank you for sharing I really needed the laugh today!

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  4. Yep. Weirdest moment for me was when a group of NUNS had this same conversation while looking at my belly. Nuns, I tell you!

    We didn't find out with either of the girls--for this last one, it meant that we got two sets of presents! One for the shower in green/yellow, and one once she arrived. It's a win win! You know, if it's all about the presents. Otherwise, it's a wonderful surprise on the birthday.

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  5. People are so stupid, and so rude. I don't know why pregnancy makes people feel like it's up for public discussion. You should try grovery delivery. I got sick of hearing how big I was and now I use peapod.com. Good luck

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  6. My co-workers are driving me NUTS since we don't know what we're having. They've all decided it's a boy since a co-worker there is having a girl. Plus, I'm carrying out front and one of my charming co-workers actually said it must be a boy because my nose is spreading.

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  7. What? I've never heard of these methods for determining the gender. Who makes this stuff up? Craziness!

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  8. oh man my first instinct would have been to punch them in the face. You need to find a new grocery store girl :)

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  9. i remember such similar moments in check out lines. not quite so aggressive, but... sheesh. yeah, new store. but... it might not be any better.

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  10. Oh meh gawd! People do that?!? Funny in the abstract, but damned uncomfortable in real life!

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  11. uh...the dark neck thing...has nothing to do with pregnancy. It means your thyroid is out of whack. Ususally a sign of hypothyroidism, insulin resistance, PCOS, diabetes. These things are all related and if you have an issue with one you probably have an issue with one or more of the others.

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