tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post8833307254377521037..comments2023-10-31T05:51:43.959-07:00Comments on baby, interrupted: feeling tensebabyinterruptedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09691284568281459525noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-53563936959582743442010-02-18T19:05:13.042-08:002010-02-18T19:05:13.042-08:00Interesting post (here from creme) because I was a...Interesting post (here from creme) because I was also just recently thinking that while it's nice we've all had something in common, I've found reading books or blogs from people who went through it but now have children to just be somewhat disappointing because you think 'oh they get it' but then 'well, they kinda don't anymore'.<br /><br />And I found myself feeling this way today when I went to Stirrup Queens' Show and Tell and some of the pictures were of people's babies. I'm happy for them but I don't really want to see that. I feel there should be some separation between the 'have and have not's' when it comes to this.<br /><br />AND totally slapped my knee at those early days of not wanting to buy the box of tampsons... just in case. Yeah, these days I buy the jumbo size to save $. Hugs.myinfertilitywoeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00537466634453988773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-74687753466600335342010-01-10T14:24:23.698-08:002010-01-10T14:24:23.698-08:00Popping in from the crème de la crème list.
You&...Popping in from the crème de la crème list. <br /><br />You're right, we're not all the same. Our experiences are different. I feel less connected to those who are still in the early phases of IF, true enough. <br /><br />When I became PG, I found it normal that some of my circle left, because staying was too hard. Ditto when we crossed over to parenting. <br /><br />If I read you're post correctly, I should consider unsubscribing from all the blogs on my feed list that haven't crossed over yet. After all, I don't want to rub salt in the wounds with any comments intended to give support. <br />At the very least, I shouldn't use the phrase "I completely understand". I think it's one I didn't use often before anyway. <br /><br />Food for thought.Lut C.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03893061829410958985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-21027398881084532962010-01-04T08:34:44.779-08:002010-01-04T08:34:44.779-08:00I love this post. (here from the creme)
REALLY w...I love this post. (here from the creme)<br /><br />REALLY well said.Journeywomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09654778922160201892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-47416995399723961722009-08-25T22:29:55.632-07:002009-08-25T22:29:55.632-07:00I completely agree and feel what you are saying he...I completely agree and feel what you are saying here. I have sisters who have dealt with IF, some that are still dealing with secondary IF, but they have at least one child and that makes the gap between us bigger than they understand. Yes, we can talk about the frustration of IF, and the way our sister's in law act like getting pregnant is just so easy and how much that angers us...but, they are in a different world than me. They have been pregnant, they have succeeded where I have not. And, although they may be able to understand how it feels, they aren't there anymore and therefore I cannot understand how they feel. I cannot participate in the conversations at baby showers about pregnancy, how hard it is to have a newborn, the changes that take place in your life....they can. Our worlds are different, and no matter how much those who have passed from IF to being mothers want to deny it, they don't understand because they have PASSED this stage. I am not very eloquent, but I just really felt like this post said so much that I have felt for so long. Thank you for putting it in a way that I could not.Carmenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10693684723410007679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-67933037850176510452009-08-14T09:56:06.710-07:002009-08-14T09:56:06.710-07:00Interesting. As a present-tenser I have to say no ...Interesting. As a present-tenser I have to say no matter what, if I one day have a child I can hold, I will consider myself IF. I had to go through alternate routes and though I reached the destination I still have IF. Anytime I try to conceive again I'll be taking back roads once more, so the brand for me remains.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-71498336107496988172009-08-10T04:48:57.293-07:002009-08-10T04:48:57.293-07:00Love this post. I'm a present-tenser (over 2 ...Love this post. I'm a present-tenser (over 2 yrs and counting) who knows too many past-tensers, and I've left a few forums because of exactly the issues you raise here.<br /><br />Thanks for saying so well.Sprudelnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008991163287790263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-18444053640837847452009-08-08T21:51:13.127-07:002009-08-08T21:51:13.127-07:00Thanks for commenting on my post on this very subj...Thanks for commenting on my post on this very subject and I 100% wholeheartedly agree with that you've said here.<br /><br />As much as we might not like to say it there IS a difference between the tenses and so thus the people.<br /><br />Really, very well said.<br /><br />xxan insight into mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08365625596614780273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-28117171618629184232009-08-07T20:49:18.172-07:002009-08-07T20:49:18.172-07:00Well said. For me, it's not the "I under...Well said. For me, it's not the "I understand"s or the "you can have one of mine"s or the stories about other friend's conception miracles. It's the "just relax"s. I friggin' HATE those. HATE them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-81008950756193695682009-08-07T18:34:56.013-07:002009-08-07T18:34:56.013-07:00I love this post. I couldn't have said it bett...I love this post. I couldn't have said it better. DH and I just failed our first ivf. we got the news today. then someone in the lobby told me to just relax. i almost morphed into a puma. <br /><br />also, i linked your blog for a teeny award... ;)Kikihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01662110583122161668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-15215933015084822052009-08-07T17:14:32.844-07:002009-08-07T17:14:32.844-07:00Very real and honest feelings to share. Thank you....Very real and honest feelings to share. Thank you. I have to admit that I didn't know I would feel like this until I got my BFN. Even after the years of trying at home and the months of failure I had no idea. As I watched other women on the blogs and other infertility sites I follow get good news, I felt it. This nagging feeling.I felt this anger swell up inside as they sat there telling me that they just know it will happen for me and God will bless me when he is ready. If I ever make it to the other side I hope I remember this feeling and find a way to be supportive but not condescending.hope4joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07285061355445227627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-1712136852108663852009-08-07T16:53:20.710-07:002009-08-07T16:53:20.710-07:00I completely understand. (sorry, I couldn't he...I completely understand. (sorry, I couldn't help it-just trying to inject a little humor)<br /><br />Seriously, this is a great post and I can see the tension between what divides us and what unites us. I feel like I've recently moved from future tense to present tense, but yet I still see a divide between people in my situation and people in yours. I'm not an English major and don't know my verb tenses all that well, but I think it is about the present perfect tense or something like that. I feel like it is happening now (present tense) but am still pretty hopeful that an endpoint in near, but for those who have been here longer, the present tense is more continuing.Missyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10030801926318157162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-13300350315614061832009-08-07T16:53:02.866-07:002009-08-07T16:53:02.866-07:00Currently being in limbo between the past and pres...Currently being in limbo between the past and present tenses, I can't speak for the view from the other side, but from where I stand right now, I have a hard time believing that I'll ever forget what it's like to live in the present tense. In 7 years of IF, I probably spent 1 year in the future tense and the other 6 in the present tense, and it's hard to wipe out all of those years. <br /><br />Right now, as I approach the past tense, I'm still partly in the present tense. Much of the anxiety I feel over this pregnancy has to do with the fact that in an instant it could all be taken away, and I'd be back in the present tense again.<br /><br />On a somewhat different but related note, personally, I've never felt like primary and secondary infertility are fully comparable. The gap between 0 and 1 is infinitely larger than the gap between 1 and 2 (or 2 and 3, etc.). Not that secondary isn't awful too, but definitely different, and people from either perspective probably can't fully understand the other (except for those with both primary and secondary).Baby Smiling In Back Seathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06483533946303787478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9082238126439604111.post-48004893822480859422009-08-07T15:08:03.524-07:002009-08-07T15:08:03.524-07:00Great post. I think the only thing worse than bein...Great post. I think the only thing worse than being told "I completely understand" is something I was told recently......and that would be, "I know you don't want to hear me say this BUT...I completely understand".<br /><br />Wow. You KNOW I don't want to hear it...but you said it anyway.<br /><br />Wow.'Murgdan'https://www.blogger.com/profile/00740095971968567222noreply@blogger.com